Friday, April 1, 2011

The Homo Sapien ... Fish?

When we talk about understanding our own species, we don't actually understand our own species. I mean, we still haven't completely figured out our family tree yet. Chimps, Gorillas, Apes, and other such species are still under debate and has not yet been accepted by all citizens of the world. Before we start monkeying around, however, have I got news for you! It seems that our newest candidate for the DNA Tree Throne is in fact ... the common fish!


Completely outrageous?
Actually, they're more similar to us than you think.

Life Complications ~ Part 20

Now, the one reason why fish have never been considered to be similar to humans is mostly because of their habitat and way of life. Fish-persons live in the water, 'nough said. They breathe air by consuming water through their mouth and filtering oxygen from the water using their gills. This "filtering" is considered to be a skill we humans cannot grasp, learn, and have no need for.

...or do we?

When we breathe in, we actually breathe a combination of Nitrogen, Oxygen, Argon, Pollution, among other things. Now, I can't say about the pollution, but we certainly are able to filter out the other unnecessary substances, which allows us to only intake oxygen into the rest of our bodies, and discard of the Nitrogen + Argon + unidentifiable substances out with the Carbon Dioxide. We have gills too, except they're not on our necks in full view. Our early ancestors probably found them unfashionable and decided to grow these gill-like filters inside our bodies instead.

You gotta give it to our ancestors, that was a pretty good decision. Can you imagine how hideous accessories such as necklaces or ties would look if we had gills on the side of our necks? Can you imagine how much harder it would be for police officers to identify a death as a victim of a throat slashing (is he dead, or are those simply his gills?).

Can you imagine how much more interesting Twilight would have been if Edward had found Bella's gills unappetizing?
"No, Bella, I'm not interested in you..."
"But Edward, without you, I won't be able to go on!"
"Oh bother..."

So as you can see, we really do have a lot in common.
So the next time you see a fish, remember. You may be looking at your long lost 3872046164th times removed cousin from your dad's side. While you're at it, remember to invite them to the next family gathering., it's good manners.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other fish to fry.
...oh wait...is that considered cannibalism now?...

Today's Surroundings: April Clowns
Today's Object: Fish Hook
Today's Color: Metallic PinkishSilver

14 comments:

  1. I absolutely love this! It totally makes me believe we evolved from fish. It makes perfect sense the way you looked at it, at least. And the ending really made me laugh :-)

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  2. @ Maddi&Mason
    :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
    I love fish, but after writing this, I don't think I can eat it anymore!
    >.<
    Or else I'll be a hypocrite :D

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  3. you know what i'm most inclined to agree with? your views on Twilight. x)

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  4. @ Starlit Mushrooms
    I say, if the Twilight series continued a little longer, we would have world unity in agreements. That's something even presidents can't achieve, no matter how many long talks they decide to host ;P

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  5. Wow, I really like this post! Haha

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  6. @ Dustin
    I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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  7. Hi - I am certainly delighted to find this. great job!

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  8. @ Anonymous
    I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Welcome to my blog!

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  9. Unrelated to fish, but I've heard nitrogen suffocation is a great way to murder someone. The lungs don't sent the "OMG SUFFOCATING" signal and the victim just calmly passes out. It doesn't leave many clues and you only need an increase of a few percent in the local atmosphere.

    *schemy schemy*

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  10. @ Bagle
    Somewhat related to that: wasn't there a theory about how alien life may be sustained on nitrogen, and not oxygen? Maybe the fact that we don't get the [Insert Suffocation Here] signal shows that we may be related to aliens...

    Oh my, our family tree just keeps getting bigger and bigger, eh?

    Sometimes I wonder why we're looking for new techy things like Nuclear bombs and who knows what else they're developing. Just pop a few Nitrogen balloons and it'll work just the same. Won't require much of a budget, either...

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  11. Kyahaha! Hilarious! That's one heck of an imagination you've got there. (:

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  12. I didnt mean to delete my comment. I think your writing is very refreshing and you have talent. Its just that I get confused, I use the name Octopussy but its come up as greenalgae which is another name I must have used.

    SORRY MUCH

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  13. @ greenalgae
    That's alright :) Thanks for the comments! I hope you'll continue to enjoy my posts in the future XD I'll work hard!

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  14. This is HILARIOUS!! I love this post!

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